There seems to have been a lot of discussion recently over the strange notion that citizens in Britain should be made to swear an oath of allegiance to the Government or the Queen or both, and various other measures of loyalty and citizenship.

For what it’s worth here is my suggestion for an oath. Repeat after me:

“There will never be true freedom until the last monarch is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.”

(I used to think this was attributable to Voltaire – and I’m sure the author of Candide would be amused by the absurdities of ‘New Labour’ – however, it appears to be derived from Denis Diderot.)

Perhaps we should also force everyone to learn and recite a national anthem? I am not too keen on the current one since (1) I am a republican and (2) it was written to celebrate crushing rebellious scots by the Butcher of Cumberland.

How about one of these instead?

God Save the Queen (Sex Pistols)

The International (Eugène Pottier)

Between The Wars (Billy Bragg)

I Predict a Riot (Kaiser Chiefs)

Jerusalem (William Blake) – for England

Parcel of Rogues (Robert Burns) – For Scotland